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Hi I dont post very often but wanted to share this with you in case it helps anyone else.
I was first diagnosed with... read more

It was an ordinary day in my busy life, I had just collected my 18 month old son from his grandparents after a long day at work. I took him upstairs and remember thinking how cute he looked in his little all in one pyjamas. I went to the kitchen to make his bottle up; it was a cold December night and I just wanted to warm him up and get him settled.

I put the kettle on an then "wham", I actually turned around to see who it was that had hit me across the back of the head with a bat. My head hurt more than anything I had ever known and all I wanted to do was to go to sleep. Somehow, I dont really remember how I got back upstairs to my son. He was sat up in my bed waiting for me, he saw me and his face dropped - he just said "mammy?"

I will always as long as I live remember that look on his little face (I have tears as I am writing this).
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Well here goes "My Story" ... I’m normally very active and can/would attempt to do anything!

Even though I was of a small build and only being 7st5 !! The week before the SAH I was feeling really tired as soon as I got back from school from collecting my bigger two girls Shannon who's 8, Harriet (5) to the point that I would leave Pete (hubby) downstairs with all the girls (and Jasmine 2) I slept for an our or so !! Which was VERY strange for me as I don’t EVER sleep in the day, didn’t even sleep in pregnancy! I also kept getting pins and needles in my hands, and couldn’t clench my hand to make a fist !! I booked an appointment with my Doctor but they couldn’t fit me in for another week !!

As I was not one to make a fuss I booked it for a weeks time, On the Sunday 7th March while Pete was out the front of our house watching the bigger girls on the bikes he “pushed” Jasmine on hers, So I could plant 10 Leylandi trees !! Which may I add that I did quite well, That evening once the all our girls were asleep I decided I wanted to move the living room around as I was bored with it (like you do) So after Pete and I struggled with it we couldn’t agree that either of us liked it so put it all back !!
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I had just turned 40. One month later whilst off work, I was spending the week in Perth at my wee sister's with my two kids and my nephew. On 14 October, they went for pizza and I went shopping because I don't like pizza. Shopping done and in the car I went to the toilet and felt a sharp pain from my left ear to my head. I left the toilet and walked to my car, sweating and panicking that I wouldn't make it. I got inside the car and sat panicking then had to jump out to throw up. People just watched me (obviously thought I had a hangover). I then managed to phone my sister and she sent her partner to pick me up. He took me to her flat and I lay on the toilet floor dying. Because of the pains in the back of my neck I asked her to take me to hospital. NHS24 thought it was possibly a migraine so they treated that and the sickness feeling and I went home to my sister's (no recollection).

My partner travelled from Kirkintilloch to Perth by train and took me to my own house on the Thursday evening (15th) and i spent the night with my 2 wee girls with a sore head and feeling sick. Friday morning (16th) I phoned the doctor and got an emergency appointment, then my 7 year old phoned my sister in law and asked her to take me (I had my last ciggy at that point but didnt realise it would be my last). The doctor did a thorough examination then gave me some medication but asked me to phone back if i wasn't any better in the afternoon. I slept whilst my 10 yr old tried to get me to eat, but I thought it's the weekend and I cant feel like this all weekend so I phoned the doctor she suggested that I go to hospital because she thought I might have a bleed. I when to hospital and spent the night scared.
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My story starts on the morning of Sept 27th 2008 I had just started a cycle ride known as the tour of dartmoor 100 mls of real challenging cycling. I had not slept at all the night before, but this was not unusual, because I get excited about the challenge of staying on a bike for upto 8hrs.

After a couple of miles, we hit our first steep uphill climb, so steep some riders had to walk part of the way. I was feeling pretty good but it was very hot. After a while, as I was riding through a lovely village called Widdicombe- in the- moor as I reached the next steep climb I got up out of my seat to get more power and thought that I had just been hit on the back of my head with a big hammer.

I managed to scramble off of my bike and sat at the side of the road with my head in my hands trying to rub the headache away. I didn't think any thing was wrong other than a bad headache. After a while the headache didn't go away, but I heard a clip clop, clip, clop, noise and a voice saying "are you ok?" I managed to lift my head and saw a woman on a horse. I said "I am fine, other than a real bad headache" She then said "are you sure you have been drinking enough, I am not being nosey but I am a doctor?" .......
After reassuring her that I was ok she left . After sitting a while still with a pounding headache and not having a clue what was wrong, I managed to ride 46mls to the feed station, where I could not cycle any further.
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Wow! so glad to have happened by this brilliant website, can't wait to share it with my family!

Well here goes ... I had a SAH on 26/5/10, totally out of the blue, had never heard of them before, except to think they happened to "other people" and that you died!!!!.well what a learning experience the last month has been and until I found this website was starting to think the hard part was being home this past 11 days.

What I've been through since then, the SAH seems a bit like "wee buns". A lot of it is hazy ...all I remember is as a very active fit 40yr old I was planning on walking to my local post office on a lovely sunny morning, before coming home having a coffee and then going for a treck across fields with the dog. What actually happened was I saw my daughter off to school (don't remember) picked up the letters to post and collapsed in the front hall with the most awful pain in my head and neck I've ever had.
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As I sit here, about 8 weeks after my stroke, I feel quite tearful. Not because I have a physical disability. Not because I am unable to cope. I am glad to be alive. I live life to the full. But because I am different. I am no longer the person I was and it is taking more time than I expected to get used to it.

I have thought long and hard about what happened in the weeks leading up to my stroke. There was a redundancy process at work. (I am a teacher at a secondary school. Teach Textiles, Food Technology and Art) There were the normal stresses of working with teenagers. There was a relationship with highs and lows. There were my two children (10 and 12). There was the normal balancing of work and leisure and family time. A week before my stroke I was at my GP's for something unrelated. My blood pressure was something like 130 over 85. No worries there..
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DAY 1 - I never thought that we would fall out of love and I still don’t think we will. Back in May when you first got ill I held your hand not knowing whether or not you were going to make it. I thought ahead to a future without you and I saw an emptiness that still haunts me. Nobody told me how hard the days following this one would be.May 21stWe arranged in the morning to meet Chris and Tracey in the evening. It was a hot day and I had arranged for Chris (Tall) to score some weed for you. Wee Chris was at the house as we had just finished training and Mike was away to his work. Plan was that I was going to go meet an old friend in town for a coffee. when Mike finished work he was going to join me and Chris at The Art Cafe, I would meet Bob and they would go off together and rejoin me later.

So Chris and myself ate jerk chicken in the garden, Louis had gone off to Beckys for the night and you were in the garden gardening. It was sunny and we were looking forward to weed cakes and going out!
All was well as I kissed you, told you I love you and set off to town. Just the same as I always did. I ‘knew’ that when I got back our life would be just as normal as it was when I left. After all bad thigs dont happen to us. Not us the happiest little family around. Two upwardly mobile young people, good careers, a beautiful son and a lovely house. Nothing could happen to us and no-one could touch us. Unstoppable.
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