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    http://www.behindthegray.co.uk/vbull...?dl=1277567704

    Wow! so glad to have happened by this brilliant website, can't wait to share it with my family!

    Well here goes ... I had a SAH on 26/5/10, totally out of the blue, had never heard of them before, except to think they happened to "other people" and that you died!!!!.well what a learning experience the last month has been and until I found this website was starting to think the hard part was being home this past 11 days.

    What I've been through since then, the SAH seems a bit like "wee buns". A lot of it is hazy ...all I remember is as a very active fit 40yr old I was planning on walking to my local post office on a lovely sunny morning, before coming home having a coffee and then going for a treck across fields with the dog. What actually happened was I saw my daughter off to school (don't remember) picked up the letters to post and collapsed in the front hall with the most awful pain in my head and neck I've ever had.

    As soon as I "hit the deck" I started vommiting and tried to get up, but my legs just would not work!!! I remember putting them into the position to crawl and trying, but only the top half of my body moved.

    I lay there unconscious for 8 hours until my daughter came home from school. She said I told her it was a bad headache, so she helped me into bed and from 5 o,clock Monday evening until 8pm Tuesday night she never left me, she said I just "slept" and vommited and made no sense. She stayed off school and all this time I told her it was just a headache.

    That changed when I woke up screaming with the pain and she rang her Grandfather, who upon arriving phoned an ambulance.

    Initially I was taken to local hospital upon results of cat scan was transferred to Royal Victoria Belfast in emergency ambulance, very ill. My family was told the next 12 hours were critical as medical attention wasnt sought for nearly 2 days. My daughter feels so bad, but I've told her she's only 14 and I kept telling her it was a headache!!!

    My other daughter at University was rushing home totally distraught and arrived at my bedside just before surgery. I cannot remember anything at all of these 3 days until I woke on the Thursday after the coiling operation.

    To cut long story short, I'm now home and totally frustrated ...can't do things I've done before, such lovely weather outside but want to hide away, overwhelmed by most things. Tired, very sore muscles, no memory, finding it difficult to get to the end of a conversation. Cry at the drop of a hat and still in shock that this happened to me.

    All my plans for summer activities with family including my 41st birthday, have been scrapped. Know this might sound trivial in light of what happened but have put on a stone in weight in hospital, through comfort eating and the great hospital food and friends and family bringing me treats and cannot even muster up the energy to go for a walk.

    My life as I knew it, seems to have been taken away from me and I feel so low. My moods swings from being reasonably ok when its just me and my daughter to irritable, scared and cross. I also have an aneurysm that needs an operation in late august, so my recovery is delayed until I go through this.

    Any help or support from people who have "come out the other side" or are going through similar at minute would really really be appreciated.

    Many thanks
    Angela
    Comments 3 Comments
    1. garyolly's Avatar
      Hi Angela,

      Your story is very hard to read for me because it is so close to my own. I too dismissed my pain as a headache, even though i'd never suffered from them.

      Two Doctors said that it was a migraine, even though my blood pressure was 184/137. I was totally white and in agony, yet still had to walk a mile to the surgery
      two days running before a Locum, Dr Carlile, called the hospital as soon as she saw me. (I have since thanked her because i do believe that she saved my life).

      I was never unwell throughout my stay in hospital apart from the day of the operation. I was even helping nurses give out cups of tea. It wasn't until i got home that
      i noticed that i was not just tired but fatigued. I have been very frustrated with myself because i'm normally so active. What a time for all this to happen, it's Summer and for once, the sun is out, BUT no sunbathing for me. My head feels like it's in a microwave after 10 minutes outside. My soreness has gone, along with the horrible bruises.

      I walk to the shops everyday rain or shine, i love the fresh air. I miss my car but i am just not ready. My girlfriend and family have been fantastic, we too have put celebrations "on hold". We will still have them but when, i can join in. Hopefully since your writing, you have had a chance to look at all you've got AND all that is still yet to come. You have friends and family aroound you and "you will need them"! Tell them everything, if you feel like crying, then cry.

      I have given myself something to aim for. " I will go cycling during the summer, with my girlfriend" . I'm not going to rush but i will do it.

      I wish you a speedy recovery and good health.

      Gary
    1. bagpuss's Avatar
      I too feel so much empathy with your position except that I am normally a couch potato. Now I am frustrated by a very slow recovery & an inbility to drive yet. the summer I planned with my 4 eyar odl befor he starts chool is ruined. PLus I ruined his 4th birthday by spending it at the eye clinic.

      I am now trying to walk every day & hope to get pemission to drive soon.

      Good lcuk with your recover, take it slowly
    1. jayne's Avatar
      Hello Angela

      Having read your story so much of it rings home.

      I had my SAH on the 3rd May, I was so lucky that day with family etc all there and local first responders with me within 5 minutes.

      Now at week 12 and like yourself I still have another op to go through. Two aneurysms which have got to be coiled, original one was clipped.

      I like you have the mood swings, lots of emotional days.

      I spent my 40th in hospital but my little girl has said Im still 39 as we never celebrated
      so that fine by me!!! I like you want to know if we are going to be back to our "normal" self's - currently a lot of my friends are turning 40 with partys and I go but I feel I am just going through the motions and also leave really early as so tired, cannot handle music etc, whereas before I would be the last to leave!

      I dont think we can move on because we still have another op to get through, my head still doesnt feel my own as I had the op where I was opened up but because I still have 2 in there I feel that I am trying to keep my head still all the time!!!

      After my op it definately gave me a new outlook on life how lucky I am etc, but because of how I feel somedays its easy to forget that. So good luck to you with your next op and Im sure once you've had this things will improve all the more.

      Oh and by the way Im with you on the weight thing - comfort food and daytime tv! Not good as cant go to gym to loose it.

      Best wishes and all the best

      Jayne