being afraid

[painter]

post craniotomy for unruptured aneurysms, 2 treated 2 remaining i find myself constantly afraid and i dont know how to deal with the fear of death or another stroke which i had during the op. any help gratefully apreciated or strategies for dealing with the fear, please help!

[Mace]

Hallo Painter,
You don't say how recent your surgery was, but as someone who had coiling for a ruptured anuerism in June of this year I can tell you that the fear was overwhelming for the first couple of months I would say.
However, as with most things it does diminish in time, thankfully, although I do acknowledge that I am not dealing with unruptured anuerisms so my case is different to yours.
I suffered multiple strokes at the time (thankfully with little deficit) and that recurring was/is my main fear. The fear was so all-consuming at first that I made a conscious decision to really LIVE with the fear and get on with each day, rather than be burdened and paralysed by it.
I hope that makes sense, and that it is of some help to you.
All best wishes,
Mace

[sallym25]

Hello Lynne,
Good to hear from you, but sorry you feel as you do. I didn't know my aneurysm was there till it burst, and am told I don't have any others, so haven't had to think about anything going on in there. I know there are some others who have had to deal with what you're going through and am sure they will drop by soon with any help they can give you. Have you seen a neuropsychologist at all? I think they would possibly be the ones to speak to about these fears. I am going to see one myself on Monday. Hope you can find someone to help you with it soon.

Are you back at home now? I hope so.

Take care.
sally xx

[Karen]

Hi Painter,

I have another enlarged artery on the other side of my brain ... it's pretty much a mirror image of the the one that I had coiled .... it may or may not develop into an aneurysm and I also have a neck left on my existing coiled aneurysm, which may or may not need further treatment ...

I'm not sure how a person deals with it, but the way that I deal with it .... is to live from day to day. It's not an easy journey and I still haven't come to terms with it all, even 5+ years on .... I don't fear death, but I do fear being left with even worse deficits than I suffered at 38 and 42 years of age and I'm really not sure how I would cope, especially with the eyesight. I stroked on my left hand side, had seizures and still have problems with walking and balance.

I can understand how afraid you feel and I really wish that I had the magic answer ... however, I'm still alive and kicking and am thankful for each day .... keep talking and if there's anything that I can do, then please feel free to contact me. xx

[painter]

thanks for the replies folks my op was in july i tried to post my story but couldnt get any further than an article which i cant now find so will try again when i'm not so tired! Hi Sally, nice to hear from you i must say here although i have not posted till now i am not new to this fab site i have been visiting regularly since i found i needed my op, and it has been a great help to me, thanks again!

[Karen]

Hi Painter,

It's early days for you .... but life does really get better and even though I'm still not mentally fully accepting, as to what I'm left with or what's been untreated .... I can now make the most of each day ...

You will get there and I would imagine that you will still be monitored, as I am .... I think that the mental side of dealing with this, is as hard as the physical fallout ... Glad that you are finding the site a help....xx

[maggie]

Hi Painter, little wonder your feeling the way you are. There are others here who can relate to what you have been through and hopefully will respond soon. I had coiling following an SAH due to a burst anni and haven't been told I have any others.
But the fear thing is a tough one to overcome,in time it will fade but for the present the panick that comes with it can be crippling.Learning how to cope is difficult but can be done with the right help and relaxation technique.All I can offer is that when your overwhelmed with the fear try to think of a happy time spent with your horses and familyl.Train your mind to go someplace else before the panick sets in.
Please go back to your doc and tell him/her that your having dificulty and need to see a neurophsycologist they are the ones who can point you in teh right direction.
Best wishes Maggie xx

[paul99]

hi painter
welcome to the site im pleased you did find us i cant really answer your question as such as my lin has a second annie on the other side of the one that did rupture and i live in the fear that it will let go so im in the same boat as you but from a different aspect you are on the way to recovery so no thoughts of death think about the new life you are going to have
all i can offer is that they have done two so far with not major problems i hope and i can guarantee that they will keep you under observation to make sure they keep it in check and will not let you get to the stage where they have to worry you to much when the time is right i believe they will call you in and do elective surgery as apposed to emergency surgery all i can offer is please take one day at a time and over the next few months you will find that the worry and concerns you have will fade into the background as you get more able its not going to go away completely but you will find life does become a little more bearable you may be able to progress in your recovery sooner than you thought possible and that the fear does get less and you will do well the hospital will keep an eye on you promise don't forget we are here and you have friends here who had gone through the same and are wearing the t shirt to prove it and will support you so from me take one day at a time rant and rave on here any time and if you have any concerns that is what we do listen and help if we can take care hugs and cuddles for doing so well up to now chin up speak to you soon i will also virtually hold your hand as well

[jess]

Hi there mine were found when one ruptured I used to worry constantly however I started to think more positively when I thought my children can remember when I die as someone who was crying and depressed all the time or someone who enjoyed every day as if it was my last and that was the jolt I needed. I now live for my kids we are always doing stuff and having fun everyday. I hope your fear goes soon too. Jess.xxx

[kempse]

Hi painter,

Sorry to read that you have this fear - it can sometimes help a little just by sharing your concerns with others. I have an unruptured, untreated aneursym so I know how scary it is, but I do manage to carry on without constant fear. How I do this I am not quite sure, other than being constantly busy which occupies my mind. Of course the worrying only starts when we learn we have these aneursyms, and although I have had one rupture, I try to reasure myself that at least they are keeping an eye on the unruptured one, whereas there will be many people walking around who have cerebral aneursyms, but have no idea and I think we are actually in a better position than those people. I don't really know what advice to give, but I hope in time the fear will lessen for you.

Take Care,
Sarah